Oh where art thou, Toni Braxton?

Sigh. I know that people always talk about people like Whitney or En Vogue when they say they want good music back but damn if Toni Braxton isn't underrated. The ipod is broke so I had to actually dust off my CD collection, which includes every Ms. Braxton CD ever released. So you know I've been playing that ish ALL FREAKING DAY. Listening to all those beautiful songs again got me to thinking that Mariah has competition in the "Suha's Life Soundtrack of the Most Relevant 90's Songs."



This bitch needs to come back on the scene...ASAP.

Heartless bitch. That's me.

Hmm where do I start.

Hey Suha, your heart is made of stone.

Hey Suha, you have no heart.

Hey Suha, I bet you don't bleed.

Hey Suha, you make the best surgeon because you can't feel.

Yeah that's me alright. Listen, I don't know why I don't cry when I hear that my oldest uncle didn't wake up after his colostomy. I don't know why I sound like a rehearsed know-it-all robot when you tell me that you just delivered Yara two months ahead of schedule. I don't know why I don't flinch when you tell me you're spending time with a woman that's not always at the mercy of an ugly black beeper. I don't know why I didn't attend Baby Dorian's memorial on Monday. I don't know why I pretend that you're not dying and not call or email.

Yes, of course I know that I do all these things. What - you thought I wasn't aware? Trust me I am aware. Now to answer the question that you are politely not asking me? I don't know. Honest to God I don't know why I was conditioned this way. What did that one rapping fool once say? The gift and the curse. Very useful trait for a surgeon and yet it is considered a personality flaw for everyone else. I am trying to change. I really am. I promise I will be a better daughter/friend/wife/person. But there's just one thing I want to ask of you. Can you please not make me feel like shit about things? Can you please not make me feel like I'm not human? I know it's asking a lot coming from me but pleasepleaseplease pretend that I have flesh beneath all of these layers of skin. You are important to me and I don't want to drive you away. Please promise that you understand. Tell me that you know how I feel about you. I can't imagine how my life would be if I lost you.

It is nights like this that I wish Starbucks delivered

At the moment I'm having a huge craving for Pumpkin Spice Latte with a generous helping of whip. And some pumpkin loaf cake to go along with it. And the Egg Florentine sandwich while we're talking about pre-packaged Starbucks goodness. Better make it two Egg Florentine sandwiches since one never seems to be enough. Damn if McDonald’s freaking delivers why can’t Starbucks? How else is a lazy-ass-woman-whose-husband-is-working-overtime-and-she-doesn’t-wanna-go-outside-intheuglywetcoldweather-but-she’s-craving-frothy-milk supposed to survive? I mean damn it’s only 2 blocks away so it wouldn’t be much of a hassle for them anyway. I, on the other hand, would actually have to get out of these PJs and put on some snow [slush] boots and and and…ahh whatever.

And yes this is an unapologetic drive-by blog entry. I had intentions to share the amazing birthday weekend I had 2 weeks ago but my internet connections gave out so I’m currently using my BlackBerry as a tethered modem for my laptop. That means I’m on dialup speed. Something I haven’t used since 1999. It took the whole day just to change up my playlist. Grr arrghh.

A whole new world...

I should have put that song in here instead, huh?

So I grew tired of trying to figure out how to do anything on LJ and decided enough was enough. I think I'm going to have a lot more fun in here anyway. Hopefully I'll be updating this one much more often than the old blog ;)

If you're an old friend, say hello! And if you've just stumbled onto my blog after doing a blog search then tell me about yourself.

So HELLO FRIENDS -- old and new!